“People, particularly because they age, really understand their choices. That they know very well what they want, ” Ury said—and retroactively added quote marks round the words “know what they need. So that they think” “Those are things such as ‘I want a redhead who’s over 5’7”, ’ or ‘i would like a Jewish man who at the least includes a graduate degree. ’” So they really log on to a marketplace that is digital start narrowing down their choices. “They look for a partner the way in which she said that they would shop for a camera or Bluetooth headphones.
But, Ury continued, there’s a deadly flaw in this logic: nobody understands whatever they want a great deal while they think they know very well what they need. Real intimate chemistry is volatile and difficult to predict; it may crackle between two different people with absolutely absolutely nothing in common and neglect to materialize in what appears in some recoverable format like a perfect match. Ury frequently finds herself coaching her customers to broaden their queries and detach on their own from their meticulously crafted “checklists. ”
The fact human-to-human matches are less predictable than consumer-to-good matches is merely one issue aided by the market metaphor; another is dating just isn’t an one-time deal. Let’s say you’re in the marketplace for the vacuum cleaner—another undertaking where you might spend lots of time learning about and weighing your alternatives, searching for the most useful fit for your requirements. متابعة قراءة “The ‘Dating Market’ gets even even Worse. W hen market logic is put on the search for a partner and fails, people can begin to feel cheated.”